John Stewart - The Daily Show
Jon Stewart: My guest tonight, stops traffic in space as the part Borg, part human 7of 9 on the WB's Star Trek Voyager, here she is having a chat with the captain.
(Scene from Dark Frontier)
Jon: "Please welcome Jeri Ryan".
(Jeri comes out looking as radiant as ever)
Jon: "Welcome".
Jeri Ryan: "Thank you, it's actually UPN's Star Trek Voyager".
Jon: "Is that UPN? Sorry I'm so crazy about Dawson's Creek, I must have slipped up. UPN that's a Paramount network, I should remember that because they actually fired me".
Jeri: "It's like a mental block I guess".
Jon: "Your much prettier in person, than without that thing on your head, it seem like you have an easy job on the show, where you just show up and kinda, whatever, take off your over coat and go in, where as the guys look like they have to get there at two in the morning, and get the fake head, or something. Like it seems in space, in the future, all the girls are kinda hot, and have aluminum foil on there eye, and the guys have paper mache heads with gills or something".
Jeri: "Although they are not completely sexist, because my first two episodes I was complete Borg, which is the nightmare make up, full bald cap, and gray modeled air brushed paint, and metal plates in my head, and tubes coming out of my neck".
Jon: "And they went "Ah, f--k it, let's put her in a leotard".
(Jeri laughing)
Jeri: "Pretty much, yeah, that's pretty much how it went".
Jon: "Your huge on the Internet, huge! There crazy about you, and then I read somewhere you like guns, and then I thought, wow she is going to be even bigger on the Internet".
(Jeri laughing)
Jon: "Are you really a gun enthusiast".
Jeri: "Well I was on a series before Star Trek, called Dark Skies".
(Someone claps in the audience)
Jeri: "Thank you, one of the eight people who actually saw the series, when it was on. I was this Russian agent so I got to use a lot of guns, which was fun, so I had my little .22 that I carried around all the time, I got to shoot a lot, I shot some .45's, I got to shoot an M-16 on one episode".
Jon: "Your crazy turning me on right now, crazy turning me on".
(Audience starts to cheer)
Jon: "Your just tossing them off like it's nothing".
Jeri: "But it was fun, they created a monster".
Jon: "Have you actually, when you're not doing the charters, gone to a firing range?".
Jeri: "No I haven't, I always said I was going to, I never got around to doing it".
Jon: "Where these real guns they gave you?".
Jeri: "Yeah they're real guns, with blanks".
Jon: "And now on the show, what do you have? It's like a flashlight?".
Jeri: "I have a phaser".
(Audience starts to laugh)
Jeri: "Yeah, I'm not real impressed with the Star Trek weaponry, I gotta be honest, very anti climatic after shooting an M-16. It does nothing!".
Jon: "You can like buy them in the store. It's like a flashlight with some plastic on it".
Jeri: "It doesn't even light up, you go like this".
(Pretending she has a phaser in her hand, she points at the camera, and smiles)
Jeri: "And that's about the effect".
Jon: "Do you make the face?".
(Audience laughs)
Jon: "Is this the show with ferengis?".
Jeri: "That's Deep Space Nine".
Jon: "Yeah all right".
Jeri: "Right franchise, wrong series".
Jon: "Tell me this, who is the smoking man?, I gotta start watching these things".
Jon: "Now you were born in Munich, when did you move here?".
Jeri: "I'm an army brat".
Jon: "Oh you're an army brat?".
Jeri: "Yes".
Jon: "Now those army brats, to my taste, either very successful, later in life, or psychotic".
Jeri: "Or both".
Jon: "Have you seen that?".
Jeri: "Yes".
Jon: "Brother or sisters?".
Jeri: "I have one brother, he is a year older, who lives here, actually in New York".
Jon: "Oh really, and he enjoys it here".
Jeri: "Yes".
Jon: "So you spend some time here in New York?".
Jeri: "Just a couple days at a stretch".
(Interrupting)
Jon: "That's perfect".
Jeri: "When I come out there to do these shows".
Jon: "No, no a couple days, is perfect, that's all I need".
(Audience and Jeri laugh)
Jon: "Star Trek Voyager is on UPN, give the whole information, so I don't screw it up".
Jeri: "Wednesday nights at nine o'clock, East Coast, eight o'clock, central".
Jon: "Jeri I thank you very much for coming by, please come by again".
Jeri: "Thank you".
Jon: "Jeri Ryan ladies and gentlemen".
(Audience starts to applaud)